My View From The Bottom

I tend to stretch the limits...

What limits?

All limits.

The view from down here is very depressing. My days are pretty uneventful: I sleep in, work-out, play X-Box, and do some things that are rather questionable.

And yet in all my need for something more, I still question why I need God.... I hear it all the time from my pastor that in a place like Houston, Texas it's hard to Need God. And I believe that to be true because I've experienced it first hand.

I mean, why do I need God? Sure I am saved and I know 100% Im going to heaven, but where is my need?

Im so content with life I scare myself. I sleep in: Something I've never really consistently done my whole life. I work-out: Im in good shape and am confident about how I look. I play X-Box: Im a geek and I love to play video games (unless something better is provided). And then comes the one thing that makes my dream world a nightmare.

Pornography.

---You never really hear people use the term pornography unless they are speaking of it in a down tone. It's one of those terms that only old people would use (no offense old people (by the way, old in my opinion is over the age of 50)). ---

Anyways... Yeah, I struggle with porn. If you're are shocked by this then I really feel bad for you.

Im not the type of person who gets really mad at people because if someone offends me I always think of how that could be me.... And now, it is me. So please before reading any further remove your veil, and realize that what I deal with is normal, and unfortunately for US... normal is bad.

The church today... Teenagers don't communicate their problems enough, whether it be with other teens in the youth, or with our youth pastors, parents, friends, etc.

That is our CRUTCH... As teens we hold onto our darkest sins and secrets because we have pride... Sure we might have our major breakdowns at a summer retreat, or even on Wednesday night.. But how many times after breaking down before God at camp have you later gotten a call from a friend to check on you and make sure everything is still going great???

Oh yeah I've gotten calls from people, but usually its after I've fallen through the black and they notice Im acting different!

I've mentioned this a lot in my past posts, and I'll say it again (maybe with different wording though) we need to have accountability (ok I lied about the different wording)!!!

The way I see it is this... We have our major breakdown, and we go home from camp or youth service, etc. And then within a week or two (maybe three or more for some) we start to slowly spiral down... And once we're back to "normal" (the "n" word) we wonder what happened.. Maybe it was a spiritual attack? Or maybe it was a problem with our fellowship as teen Christians!

The way I see it, Satan doesn't really worry about most teens after they've been renewed (again)... Because for most of us he knows we will slowly sink back into our "n word" lives. He really doesn't even have to look in our general direction, because he is not everywhere at once so he leaves the whole "don't communicate about your spiritual lives" thing on cruise control! That way he can be in other places doing other stuff (its all a conspiracy man!).

And so young men like myself and millions of other CHRISTIANS battle through our daily struggles with porn, drugs, self abuse, and anything else that brings us further away from the Father.

So guys, know that you're not alone. Porn is a completely normal thing in our society, and trying to hide it can be detrimental to just about all aspects of life (especially the longer it has a hold on you).

Girls, Im sorry I don't understand yall too well. But what I do know is that all of yall need to keep each other accountable with the way you act and dress around your Christian brothers.

So here I am, at what seems to be the bottom of a very deep pit. The holy spirit is very far and His voice I can't hear. But who knows, maybe I'll just keep pushing myself down this hole and try to find it's limit (I hate the word limit, it reminds me of Pre-Cal).

When I started this blog I was, in Relient K's words "On the Up and Up" and for a while it was this blog that kept me accountable. But then I slipped... And didn't blog for a while, and then I was good again... and slipped again... And so here I am using this blog for accountability, but in a different way...

I ask that if you're reading this you would pray, not just for me, but for all the men (and even boys) out there who struggle with things like pornography. And also to pray for all teen and adult Christians, that this fog be lifted and we see clearly that the enemy is holding us back not just through temptation, but by SEPARATION as well.

I think it's time we started sharing our thoughts and feelings with each other, because if we stay bottled up we will destroy ourselves.

And if you thought I jumped topics too much in this post, well Im sorry... But I'll revisit something I mentioned in the beginning.....

WE NEED GOD, I NEED GOD. And although we may not always feel a need for God in our lives I can assure you we do. Because I sit here now on the other side of that argument, and my stone cold heart still knows that My Savior has renewed my filthy soul and that I will never be able to run away from that. I am a child of God, I am loved. And although in times like these I question that, my heart knows the truth.

God's thoughts for ME outnumber the sands of this earth, and my thoughts for him recently wont cover the dirt between my toes (metaphorically speaking, my toes are clean), but I know everything is going to be great.

So if everyone would please leave a prayer request in the comment box that would be awesome, and the person who comments after that would pray for you and so and so forth....

Ex: Comment #1 <---

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Comment #2 (pray for that person)

And guys (girls too if you want) check out the site www.xxxchurch.com its a Christian site geared towards helping the world get rid of pornography. It's a great website and the bimonthly email is really great.

So now everyone pick up their phones and call up someone to check on their spiritual walk. I love all of ya and hope yall continue to read my blog posts.

Blake J.

Becoming The Difference

Who Are we?

Matthew 9:37-38

37) Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38) Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore to send out workers into his harvest field."

Our goal as Christians is to win souls for the Kingdom. But when we appear to be the same as everyone else, what are we selling? A waste of time? 

It is very hard to be a Christian in America! We have all that we need. How can we teach our friends about a God who forgives and gives us all we need, when we already have it? 

A big difference between us and them is this... We still make mistakes, but we realize the need for Jesus in our lives. But we cannot appear as hypocrites, it is one thing to say you're saved it is another to act it. We know that we're messed up, we know that the only thing that separates us is that we have Christ in us.

We used to be these disgusting, raunchy, lying, backstabbing, gossiping, lustful, greedy, and malicious creatures! But the old has passed away because of our life found in Christ, we have been satisfied! 

But do we still struggle? Of course we do, but because of Jesus' sacrifice we can repent and grow stronger through our failures.

THE PROBLEM: We still try to be apart of this world! We have quenched our thirsts for the things of this world, but we still go back to our old sins like a dog returns to its vomit. And if we go around with the Christian image, but don't show a difference in our lives we have labeled Christianity as a facade.

We try so hard to be like Jesus, but we also want to be accepted by our friends. Jesus said that we would be hated for being different, so we can't act too surprised when we rub people the wrong way with our belief in God and His word.

 Like in John 17,

14) I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world."

Jesus goes on in this prayer to ask for our protection, because he knows that the evil one will want to hinder us. 

Satan wants us to feel comfortable. Do you really think an attack from the evil one would consist of him jumping you in a dark alley with a cape and pitchfork? No, if he scared you, you would most likely want to run straight to God, and he does not want that. Satan wants you to be nice and comfortable, so you have no need for God in your life.

And so millions of Christians fall to the pressure. We want to accepted by our friends, so we do whatever they might do even if it contradicts our faith and morals. We try to impress that guy or girl at the party and end up doing something we might regret, and that would destroy our witnessing opportunities with those that look up to us. We try to be like the other guys, looking at pornography and dismantling our view of women as equals, and desensitizing our minds. We try to be like other girls, who dress in barely any clothing, causing guys to get a wrong view of you, and causing your brothers in Christ to fall to lust and temptation. We try to be like those who drink, trying to escape your pains, and trying to satisfy a thirst that cannot be quenched by anything other than Christ. We lie to our parents so we can stay out later doing something we probably shouldn't be doing. We swear, curse and scream obscenities when we should be blessing, and encouraging others... 

In simpler terms.. We fail. And others watching us fail think, "Why do I need their Jesus, they're no different than me?"  

We will fall, but when we fall we need to be humble, and we need to repent right away. Because if our witness is blown then we have lost everything, and that person may lose all respect for Christians, assuming we are all the same.

Ephesians 2:1-10

   ¹ And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— ⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.⁸For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them

We enter into this world spiritually dead........ BUT  NOW  WE  ARE  ALIVE  IN CHRIST, AND  NOTHING  CAN SEPARATE  US  FROM  HIS  LOVE  AND GRACE!

Im hoping this post helped you somehow, and I hope you can share it with others. Thanks for reading!

Blake J.

Things To Read This Summer

Here are a few things you should read (verses, books etc.). 

Acts (whole book)- great way to learn how the church got started, and very entertaining.

1 Corinthians 13 and 14- My favorite chapter (13-Love), and 14 which refers to spiritual gifts.

This Present Darkness/Piercing The Darkness (Frank Peretti)- My favorite books of all time! Talks about the principalities of darkness and the battles we don't see (fictional).

Proverbs (one chapter a day)- Reading a chapter a day in this simple book helps a lot.

1 and 2 Samuel- If you have only heard the stories of David, its time you experienced them in a whole new way. Pay attention to how God hands his enemies to him, and how he hits the slippery slope in 2 Samuel (starting with being away from battle).

The Shack (William P. Young)- Oh boy, this is an amazing book. Totally changes your walk with Christ. Fictional story about a man spending a weekend with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit (I really wish I could say more).

Dateable (Lookadoo, DiMarco)- Great book on having a relationship with God, and having it reflect into your dating life (basic description).

Every Young Man's Battle (Arterburn, Stoker)- Great book about guys... being guys, and learning how to overcome all the things teen guys go through. Girls should read if they think they understand guys (prepare to have your mind blown!).

Do You Want To Go To The Mountain (Thomas Young)- great book by my pastor, talks about Jesus' transfiguration atop the mountain with 3 of his disciples.

Wild At Heart (John Eldredge)- Grrrrreat book! Being able to understand man, and God's purpose for us. Goes great with Every Young Man's Battle (or Every Man's Battle, same authors). Eldredge uses great examples to show our similarities to God's character (he refers to Braveheart a few times!).

Genesis (whole book)- If for one second you thought you were messed up..... 

1 John 2- Good for guys to read

Ecc. 12- Also good for guys to read.

Epehesians (whole book, esp. ch. 6)- After about a year of hearing sermons from this book... I can tell you it is rather amazing. Put on the Whole Armor Of God!

Job (Whole Book)- This story puts FML to shame. He remains faithful to God through everything, rather than trying to make a funny story out of it (also, when God speaks... whoaaahhhhh super awesome to hear God talk smack!!!)

Romans (Whole book)- Get to know the Romans road.

Most of these books I have read, but I always re-read so don't think Im going to not be reading.... believe me I am stacked with books right now.

Blake J.

The End is Nigh

Okay... So it has been quite a while since I've had a legitimate post. Im sorry. But A LOT has been happening to me lately (poor excuse I know). Over the past month I have had a few ups and downs, preventing me from being able to write a sincere post. I have had a lot of great ideas on what to write, they just haven't met the screen yet. But now everything is great. I've taken all one exams that I needed (dang you pre cal!) and I graduate in a few days, no big deal...

BIG DEAL- It has been a really long ride these past four years and I have yet to feel sad for leaving... until yesterday. 

Yesterday was the graduation recognition (or some other name) service at our church. I remember watching my sister go through it two years ago, and now it was my turn. I didn't think I would be so emotional. But it was tough holding back tears after receiving such kind words from my pastor and then being given a gift (Beyond Opinion by Ravi Zacharias) and being prayed for by the entire congregation. It was a big God moment for me. Realizing that I was so close to leaving home and all those I'd built relationships with the past few years.

It was just the jump I needed to get me off my arse (pardon le'french (haha sonic commercial humor)). Not to mention the great sermon on the Armor of God, which can be found on itunes podcast under "the sanctuary fellowship." 

And then today, the stiffest day of my life. I was like the walking dead, moving slowly, not talking to much.... stressed. I had one exam for this entire semester (PRE CAL!!!) and had hardly studied at all. But as I sat at my desk last night I thought back to the Old Testament prophets and how many times they opposed those who opposed God. Every time it seems they not only defeat the false prophets/gods but they did it with style (i.e. dousing an alter with water and calling fire down from heaven).

And so I went into my pre cal exam without studying much. And I passed. Praise the Lord I passed! 

Then.. As if my day hadn't just improved by one-thousand percent, I receive four graduation cards... with enough money (adding to all my other grad gifts) to pay for my new laptop (new aluminum macbook :D). Seriously, God has been good to me these past few weeks. Actually, this whole year has been great.

I felt as if I had just been in a huge funk... then I got out of it... and then back in.... and then out. But now its all good. Because I know that the God of the universe is holding me in His hands and will never let me go!

So what Im getting at is this: If you're on your last straw, keep pushing. If you feel as if you're all alone, you're not. School is almost done.. forever! We need to go out with a bang, and make sure we are rock solid before we leave for college.

Im going to be here to stay (so long as God allows) and I plan to write a lot more in the coming months, and years because

"I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. 14) The Lord is my strength and my song: he has my salvation." 

Psalms 118:13-14

Blake Johnson

What's To Come...

Be looking for a new post soon everyone, Sorry for the absence.

Couch Potato

We live a sheltered life here in America. To be able to wake up everyday without worry or concern that your religious beliefs will get you killed.

But thats the problem.. We act as if someone's got a gun to our head anytime we have an opportunity to share our beliefs with others.

There might not be an actual death threat, but the thought of being ridiculed and humiliated is enough to keep some of us silent.

So I encourage all of you to get up and do something about it. Don't let the enemy allow you to believe its okay to just sit around and be silent. If you disagree with someone's viewpoints on a topic, tell them why. If your best friends having a bad day, offer them love and encouragement the way Jesus would.

This may bring up some awkward situations with friends, but if they are your friends they'll respect your beliefs.

Remember that we are not here to be comfortable and find an easy way out

Matthew 16:25-26

25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but

 whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?

(ESV)

Like I said last week. We are not here for a long time. So don't bother trying to get cozy. We need to stand firm, and let others know where it is that we stand. 

So don't worry about life here on earth. Think of your life in heaven where your Father is because if we keep our eyes to heaven the luxuries of this world will seem worthless.

Blake J

Wake Up People!

Comatose: Skillet

I hate feeling like this 
I’m so tired of trying to fight this 
I’m asleep and all I dream of

Is waking to you 
Tell me that you will listen 
Your touch is what I’m missing 
And the more I hide I realize I’m slowly losing you 

Comatose 
I’ll never wake up without an overdose of you 

Chorus: 
I don’t wanna live 
I don’t wanna breathe 
‘les I feel you next to me 
you take the pain I feel 
waking up to you never felt so real 
I don’t wanna sleep 
I don’t wanna dream 
‘cause my dreams don’t comfort me 
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real 

I hate living without you 
Dead wrong to ever doubt you 
But my demons lay in waiting 
Tempting me away 
Oh how I adore you 
Oh how I thirst for you 
Oh how I need you 

Bridge: Breathing life

Waking up My eyes 
Open up

Comatose: 

of or in a state of deep unconsciousness for a prolonged or indefinite period, esp. as a result of severe injury or illness.

Something I wouldn't wish on anyone, and yet we see it all the time... A sleeping believer, someone who has become silent. And has basically lost all contact with God. We don't want this to happen but it does. For those like me who hate failure it can be especially hard. You sin (big surprise) and find difficulty in repenting. This leads to a long downward slope that can bring about your downfall. Much like King David after his sin with Bathsheba, his life just went down the tubes. And it also affected the life of his children as well.

So not only does sin affect your relationship with God, not only does it affect you as a person. But it affects those around you and your relationships with them.

Why do we continue to lie in this vegetable state... when we know that waking up to a huge and loving God is like the best feeling in the existence of anything? The hardened heart is no match for God's love to penetrate, but we sit and do nothing about it. I am terrible at this.

"Insanity is doing the same thing, expecting different results." (something like that)

I heard that quote from my worship pastor who had heard it from a friend. And it makes a lot of sense. I would wake up everyday, ignoring the fact that I hadn't even prayed yet. Walk to the car, oblivious to the fact that I hadn't prayed for protection. Enter the school, unaware of the presence of darkness. Go throughout my day, without feeling God...

I didn't read my bible (which is something everyone should do(it makes a huge difference in your day/life when you know the word!!!)). I didn't tell others about my problems (put on a mask pretending everything was alright). And I didn't even bother to confront God.

We worry about such little things, and these little things lead to big problems. Today my pastor went through Matthew 6:25-34 (I want you to look it up). These few things mentioned by Jesus can lead us to become entangled in things we shouldn't worry about. The reason I say this is because it goes well with Comatose.

We sin, become hard hearted, and start worrying about little things. This all preoccupies us from seeking God and His Kingdom! This is one of the enemies strongest weapons. And this is why we must stand strong. Because once you get a a chink in the armor, the enemy will start planting these worries in your head. Then... BOOM, comatose.

So don't go down that slippery slope like David. Don't allow any chinks to appear in your armor. And don't worry. 

Do pray and read your word constantly (like more than once a day (esp. praying, even if its conversation its great. God doesn't just want to talk to you so He can answer your problems or accept your praise. Having an intimate relationship is also about just being WITH God)).

TAKS testing this week... Meaning I will be sleeping in. And also meaning no homework. So I will have more time to do some blogging.

Blake J.